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"Darkness and Light" By Cindy

"Darkness and Light"

By:Cindy Brewer
Summary: Yet another take on the finale :)
Notes: This was written before the premire aired.


That was all Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman saw
everywhere he looked.

Splotches of blood on the ground here.

Bigger pools of blood there.

Josh closed his eyes briefly in a futile attempt to
keep his sanity. He had heard his grandparents talk of
the horrors of World War II. He never imagined in a
million years that he would come anywhere near a gun

Especially one where he could only watch in helpless
horror as people he loved were gunned down before his

Josh shook his head sharply forcing his attention back
to what he was doing.

He looked down again and saw nothing but blood
covering his hands and jacket as he used it as a

A compress to keep Sam Seaborn's lifeblood from
seeping into the cold ground.

"Damn it, Sam," Josh ordered in a choked whisper. "You
*are not* going to give up! Not like this,
Sam.....don't let the bastards take you like this...."

Hands were suddenly on his shoulders pulling him away.
Josh fought them off his attention fully on saving his
friend's life.

It took him a full minute to realize it was three
members of the Secret Service pulling him away.
Josh numbly allowed them to do so only when he saw two
waiting paramedics kneeling nearby.

The Secret Service agents tried to pull Josh to his
feet but Lyman wouldn't budge.

As if from far away Josh could hear them reporting
back and forth on their radios.

/ 'Princeton's down! We have Harvard.....
Flamingo's already in an ambulance on the way to..../

Josh gulped and his lungs cried for air as he sat on
the ground watching the paramedics struggle to save
Sam's life.

He didn't even remember how he had gotten from behind
the fence to the row of limos where he had found his
fallen friends.

Finally Josh let out a breath he didn't realize he'd
been was easier to breathe now.
/Come on Samuel...../

"Blood pressure's dropping way too fast," a female
black paramedic shouted to her partner as she
feverantly tried to find a good vein in which to
place an IV.

Her partner, a blond man, nodded grimly. "He's going
into shock. We have to move him or he won't make it to
the hospital....."


Josh Lyman woke with a start sitting straight up in
bed. His body was covered with sweat. His heart was
beating so fast he thought it was going to fly right
out of his chest. His lungs were grasping for air as
he struggled to catch his breath.

Damn nightmares......Josh swore silently as he leaned
back against the headboard and closed his eyes. He'd
had them every night for the past three weeks. Three
weeks since that awful night at the Newseum.
Each dream was a different variation as to what had
really occured that night.

Donna stirred next to him. She awoke fully when she
saw him sitting against the headboard.

"Another nightmare?" Moss asked quietly as she pulled
herself into a sitting postion before resting a hand
on his chest.

Josh nodded as he captured her hand with his. "They're
all fine,Donna," he whispered hoarsely. "Hell none of
them were even seriously injured, unless you count
Toby's broken ribs and collar bone. So why am
I still having these horrible dreams where they're
bleeding......where they're dying....."

Donna pulled him toward her so his head was resting in
her lap. She hated seeing him like this....night after
night. Josh was in pain and there was nothing she
could do to help him....except to hold him when he
needed her.

"Josh, you watched something unspeakably horrible
happen. People you care about were in mortal danger
and you couldn't do anything to help from where you
were," Donna replied softly as she stroked his hair
lightly. "This is your mind's way of dealing with it."

Lyman met her gaze for a long moment before reaching
up and tenderly touching her right cheek. "How did I
get so lucky as to have you in my life, Donnatella?"
he whispered huskily. "You don't know how grateful I
am that you were there for me the last few awful
weeks. I honestly don't know if I could've gotten
through it without you."

"You would have," Donna whispered tearfully. She had
come so close to losing him that day.

Josh sat up and tenderly wiped the tears away from her
cheeks. "I love you Donatella," he replied quietly as
he leaned forward so their noses were only inches

"I love you too, Joshua," Donna whispered just as his
lips captured hers.